Pants jokes
If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, does that mean your pants are tucked into your shirt?
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants? A: He heard the snowblower coming.
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
At my most fear, I shit my pants.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!
Normal girl stating her opinion.
My name is Jade Harris. I don’t know if you guys know it, but “rape” jokes are really starting to get sexist and could lead to people getting raped. IT IS MY OPINION PEOPLE DON’T HATE ME! 😡. People are talking about how men are better than women, but men and women are both good. Someone posted about how they hate the media being about women and other bull crap, but fuck it, I hate the media being about both genders. And people sound like fucking rapists here!!! Some boy did story time and then said women are weak and I can rape a women if I feel like it and shit! But no one knows what it feels like to be a women? Only women do. 😠. Women have to have kids with men of course, but it is hard to be a like that. 1. We grow up just the same as men, and men don’t always get judged for dressing except for that stupid pants were we can see your underwear shit, which is pt style. Women are the ones who pay the bills, lose half of there energy and MOST of the time take care of the kids and work for a living men do too. But women get raped and harassed and molested and sexual assaulted/battery/abuse, and when a women wants to dress up how she feels she gets slut shamed for it. So really being a women is harder will being both genders are. Facts!!!
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.