What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...
Roses are red. Violets are blue, when a sumo saw you he peed his pants
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
What did the shirt say to the pants?? Belt.
Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.
Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
