Owner Jokes

Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window. When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food." When the man looked confused, the owner said; "Windows are nature's vending machine."

I was walking with my black best friend and he was meeting my parents and after I got there they said who’s this? I said well I own him

Which dog is owned by a Kid called ,,Charlie Brown",raps and smokes?

Snoopy Dog

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces cum in pears

a chemical store burned down and the firefighter just stand there but at the end the store fire just went out by himself. But the store owner still got angry.

store owner : why didn't you take out the fire ?? firefighter : yea but it went out by it self store owner : but still why ?? firefighter : your chemical store sells H20 store owner : oh i get it now

Bank owner:if you want to start a bank account, I need ur name. Guy:Robin Bank owner: ur last name? Guy:Debank Bank owner: Robin Debank? Guy: put your hands up and give me all the money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

little johnny got a dog without earsand then they invited their neighbours over. then they asked what was his name. the owners said " we did'nt name him anything because there no reason because when we called his name, he would'nt come."

This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.

His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.

The guy left her and the owner made her leave.

Store owner: u have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: please.

Store owner: oh okay but get on ur tippy toes.

Kid: ever body is hugging

Some moving men had just begun their days work. The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch. The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got to violent and now their sister(World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption and the planes were given back to their owners.

Why did the dog walk out at night .?to scare his people

A blind man went to a restaurant.

menu sir? asked the owner. I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables. Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!

People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life. I don't care about her life either hahahaha!!;)

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.

hahahahahha

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."