Outing jokes
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
Memes
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What goes inside and comes out wet?
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)