EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl? A blender. How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
My mom said take out the trash but I couldn't find u
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
"Hi Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?" " Oh, Johnny you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs." "I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
what's the best time to hang out with an indian? when your nose is clogged.
There once was a man from Peru.who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke up at night ,with a terrible fright,to find out his dream had come true.
What’s emo kids likes to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
Papyrus= well come to the underground. sans= how was your falls. Papyrus= g-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out. Sans= give me your balls!
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme? I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer? -- The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"
