Outing jokes
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?
The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.
Q: What happens when emos make out?
A: They don't; they just hang out.
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
Memes
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O