Outing jokes
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?
It's about time!
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
Memes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To check out the chicks!
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
Why is the tire so tired?
Because it is tired out.
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
What is red and puts out fire?
Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg.