Otherness jokes
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Guys, why are we being racist? Why can't we love each other, please? Gimme that dick, boy. Please stop fighting. Let's love each other and them big ole dicks, please. Gimme that dick. I hate racism.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
My friend: To get to the other side?
Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.
My friend: Oh.
Me: Knock knock.
My friend: Who's there?
Me: The chicken.
Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?
What is going on here?
Breakfast! 😂
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What did the O say to the other O?
O hi O (Ohio).
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"
The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.