Order jokes
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
What do gay girls order in a bar?
Pussy juice.
What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?
Two large planes.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered Dominos and got Jets.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
Israel is so fat, when he goes to KFC and they ask what size bucket he wants, he says, "The one on the roof!"😂
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."