Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus. The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?" Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
The twin towers ordered 3 tacos. One was just a plane tortia. The other one was also just a plane tortia. And the third one went to the wrong adress.
Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline
What does the initials POOP stand for ? Polacks Order Our Poop 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
Why did the twin towers order from just eat? They wanted some plane fries.
Someone in the twin towers ordered 2 pizzas plane.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders Turtle soup . The waiter hollers “One Turtle Soup”. A moment later the guy calls the waiter over and says, I’ve changed my mind , I would like Pea Soup The waiter hollers “ Hold The Turtle and Make It Pea “
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education. They were both druids.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. -- I'll let you know.
Why did the chicken cross the towers
Because he he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side
3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ''this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ''What do you ca..'' out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ''Why are you laughing I haven't even finished the joke yet''? The blonde replies '' I just got the first joke''.
Why were the twon towers mad? Because they ordered three peperoni pizzas and one came plane, the ither came late, and the lther one went to the wrong address.
3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”
Why were the world trade center so Mad because They ordered 3 pizzas but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address
A panda walks into a restaurant orders some food and eats it. Once he was done he shoots the waiter then leaves. Police and detectives arrive at the scene, they ask the waiter "who did this to you? what happened?" The waiter replies "A panda, eats shoots and leaves"
All of a guys son's came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar. The bartender asks "Do u have anyone in ur family who likes women?" The man said "My wife does!"
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
A woman has been raped by a man, she calls the police and a policeman shows up - Woman: Please help officer I have been raped! Officer: No problem ma'am, I will just unrape you Woman: Whhat? Unrape me? How?
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo." -Al Nassr owner
