OR jokes
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
Not sure if the Twin Towers were destroyed or if they were just purposely demolished. 🖐️😀
Q. Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
A. Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they only got plane.
What came first: the chicken or the egg?
Doesn't matter, in the future, they'll come together.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
What do you call a person with no body or a nose?
Nobody knows.
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.