OR jokes
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.
Is Google a male or female?
Female because it doesn’t let you finish your sentences before making a suggestion.