OR jokes
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌