OR jokes
It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" the passenger said.
"Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
My joke is so diam funny, or so damn funny.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.