This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
OR Jokes
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
