OR jokes

Add joke

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

  • 0

    • So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

    The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

    After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

    Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

    Patient: Good news!

    Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.

    During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?

    Would you rather watch PL or suck a dick?

    Adapt: lemme fart on that dick.

    Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!

    Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!

    Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!

    Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!

    Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?

    Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?

    Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.

    Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!

    Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!

    Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!

    Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!

    Gwen: He does, you're not listening.

    Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!

    Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

    Treon: How did you find that?!

    Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

    Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

    Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

    Treon: We can't!

    Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

    What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

    Answer: A promise.

    Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

    Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

    Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

    And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

    Where does a French cat live?

    - In Purr-is

    OR

    - In the Catacombs

    OR

    - In a chat-eau.

    Hello, this is our fun CULT, haha, or CLUB, whatever you want!

    Love you, orphan haters! :^ Nina

    So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

    If you're reading this, then good, let's stop this hating on this site! We can just get along, or if not, then don't say anything at all! "Kiss."

    Me: *watching TV*

    Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

    Me: Really?

    Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.