Onion jokes

When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

Oliver Tree just died in a helicopter crash?

He doesn't have to worry about that because, according to him, life goes onionionionionionionionionionion.

Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.

They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"

The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."

I started crying when dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

Until I threw a watermelon in her face.

I started crying when my dad cut up onions.

Onions was such a good hamster.

What's an old man's favorite food?

Wrinkled onions.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.

Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.

Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."