Onion jokes

Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

What do you get when you cut an onion?

Onion jizz.

Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:

cabbage _50

Carrots-50

Cooking fat -100

Onions_20

Tomato-20

salt-10

Total=250

She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.

McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.

His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."

In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.

The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.

The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.

The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.

So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.

What's an old man's favorite food?

Wrinkled onions.

what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

What do you call onions and beans?

Tear gas.