One jokes
In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
This picture is for bras! Comment or not and go to each one and comment! And go!
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
There is only one reason why I find women useful.
That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.
North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.