One jokes

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

What do orphans and TVs have in common?

At least one of them has a home.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

"Another one bites the dust."

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

Do you like CDs?

There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."

One time I was watching TV.

Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!

Me: Omg, really?

Mom: Sike, I lied.

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.

Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!

Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."

I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

Did you hear the one about the hills?

It was hillarious.

One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.

What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?

One was born burnt.