My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?" Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
Why does Steven hawkings only do one liners?
Cause he can’t do stand up
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful
one time in my dream i had a dream that all people in wheelchair could walk it was awesome i could walk
When a women removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye. But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Among us is a game (skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill every one, do this sound similar on September 11, 2001...
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone but only one is home.
Papyrus:HUMAN,WHY ARE YOU SAD? Me:I'm just BONELY. Sans:Good one kiddo.
Orphan: what are you doing tonight. Me: your mum... oh wait you don't have one.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet it is a shame he could not create a longer lasting battery.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
One day i was texting my friend on roblox and i made her made her mad. she told me she was gonna kill me. that night she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 pm sharp. but she made sharp in all caps. so i went to the bathroom at pm the next day. now i know what she meant by SHARP on roblox...... she brought a knife and i was in hell by then. like for the next part!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
