There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear. Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him. Go on, so what did you do with ship them?
what was the one test that Steven hawking couldnt pass
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why can't an orphan be gay.because they have no one to call daddy
One day little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parent's bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing he said playing cards, Little Johnny said who is your partner? dad said his mom on his way up he passed by his sisters room and noticed sheets Bouncing around and asked what she’s doing she said playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul. Next day dad came to ask Johnny a questions The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing he said playing cards. His dad asked him who is his partner was little johnny said you don’t need a partner if you have a good hand
These are all really nice jokes but here is one. Boy: Spell ME Girl: M-E Boy: You forgot the D Girl: There is no D in ME Boy: Not yet
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset, she said it’s to small, so that’s all, but later that day, he wanted to say, every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lieing, she started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all, everyone said, fly away big chunky balls.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do? I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through. The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark. Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair. That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect. Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side. Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know. But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
what do a bag of chips and a gun have in common? when you pull either one out in class everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb? 4! One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Allouette, gentille allouette!"
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
the whole solar system is one big family right? but everyone circles the SON.
At school, bobby boy's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "why are you crying". Bobby says "someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die". His mom looks him straight in the eye and says "depends, which one are you referring to?"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtan.. So your the one !
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: we don't want him
Orphan: And I took that, Personally-
You aren’t alone. If you ever need to chat I’m here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn’t struggle
my opinion on abortion is very divided like, on the one hand I like the idea of killing babies but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
