I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.
Gwen if ur reading this the link I sent is for u and ur bf to chat and stuff no one shall bother u! Pinky pinky! Btw do U know how I am cause if do then I am related to kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry just chat with ur boy friend
Gow do you keep tour friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Me: What did one toilet say to the other? You: What? Me: You look flushed!
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them
Why was the stair case so sad? Because every one walks on them.
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby.
One makes you cry when you cut it up
Three men walk into a bar.. you would have thought the last one would have ducked
its always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
I wanted another piece of pizza.... but she said I could only have One Piece.
one depressed kid goes to high five a tree but the tree just left him hanging
You're cheap no one even pays attention.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one. But I also think I screwed it up.
Why does no-one look up at Steven hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtan.. So your the one !
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
How is wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
whats life if you dont have one...
