One

One jokes

Morgue

  • Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.

    So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.

    He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.

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  • Blowjob

  • I went home one day, and three guys—a Spanish guy, a Chinese guy, and a white guy—told me, "You should be proud of your sister. She won a trophy about knowing her flavor of meats." Then my sister told me that I was blindfolded, and she gave all of them a blowjob, and I had to guess which flavor that I was sucking on. I was right all the time, and they gave me a trophy. The Trophy says "Blowjobs of the Flavors." As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

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  • Tree

  • "Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."

    Crackhead

  • One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.

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  • Octopus

  • Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?

    Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.

    Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!

    Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].

    Pregnancy

  • So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?

    Virgin

  • Why do Vampires like virgins?

    Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.

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  • Mama

  • Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.

    Robber

  • Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*

    Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.

    Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?

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  • Brother

  • Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

    The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

    He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

    Difference

  • What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?

    One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.

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  • Reference

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