One jokes
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."
Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."
And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The Romans put sugar syrup on the second one.
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Just looking for a cunt...
Oh hello, found one.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was fucking one and she kept on saying, "I'm Tu Yung."
The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!