A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked." The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
why does the kids cant see their parents because they dont have one
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice-cream in one sitting? To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
I HAVE MORE CUM IN ONE TESTICAL THAN YOU HAVE IN YOUR WHOLE PENIS
What does one boob say to the other boob
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus
The picture gets hung with one nail not two
what do you call it when you have two indians one black and a fat white a s’more
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
therapist: and what is it about this generation that bothers you?
satan: i give them the intro tour and they just say shit like “ooo spooky lol”
therapist: that's not so bad
satan: when i showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said “big mood”
What do you call an open that has a brother the second one without one
Why will the orphan never say honey I'm home
No one wants him not even the bees
Whats the difference between an orphan and a pencil , People actually have a use for one of them
One day my mom told me not to be an acter i said but mommy i will make alot of money!
one i grow some som more yea i am 4 im caillou im caillou im caillou thats me.
Grandma: you guy’s generation is on to much technology. Kid: well your the ones that raised us. Other family members: ...
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
one time in my dream i had a dream that all people in wheelchair could walk it was awesome i could walk
A woman was sitting alone at a bar and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sadly. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time she burst open her bedroom door and she said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand and a 12 inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants and came on your curtains. It's been fun!
