One jokes
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"
What is the one spray that can kill midgets? Bug spray.
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Why did C.S.C. fail the trigonometry test?
Cosecant remember his own name.
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!