One jokes
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
In America, there was a boy named Urhan, and he had one hand and a stump, and a girl named Handa who was an orphan. They had a trial for the Boston Red Sox, and they failed because Urhan couldn’t stump the ball, and Handa didn’t know where home was.