Old jokes
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
Come back, old members!
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.
"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Yesterday, a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
🚘 What is as old as the earth 🌎 and new every month? The moon.
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.