Old jokes
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they? In fact, they don't age at all.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
Old ladies are non existent.
3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.
Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"
Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"
Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."
Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.
Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"
Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"
"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
🚘 What is as old as the earth 🌎 and new every month? The moon.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
Come back, old members!