My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult she had kids. When they were old enough she told them you could be whatever you want...
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend, I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.
Dr Fauci would be surprised to know that R Kelly didn't catch COVID-19. But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
whats in a michael jackson hotdog
a 50 year old piece of meat
a 12 year old bun
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old but then again neither does the baby
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common? They both died with red rings
A man is consoling his nine year old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted,
"You need to be more careful" he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child if you don't believe me I can pop my trunk
A wife was cleaning 12-year-old son’s bedroom When she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags, she asked her husband, “what do we do?” The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
Cheer Up!! Old age doesn't last that long!
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
*A priest walks into a wine store*
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money. Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole. The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money. The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money you worthless old fart.”
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years? Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, " Dad how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big "dick"? her father replied " honey, you should have watch me last night - it was inside my mouth, does it cycle now?"
You realize your in a parodox,until you die,you’ll see yourself die,Murder,Suicide,Old Age,Etc Then your realize your dreaming,but you realize that you die in a dream you die irl
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
ur mum so old that when i told her to act her age, she died
