Old jokes
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
Memes
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.