Old jokes
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
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What’s the difference between air and a six year old?
Air has resistance.
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.