Old Jokes

What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?

They are all locked in the Priest's basement.

did you hear about fridgetair kelvinater

Whats starts with M and end with arriage?

Miscarriage Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child

Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father? because Roman Catholic men between 18 - 29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole

A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me?😏” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”

Grandma: young people your age are married by now,why aren’t you?

Me: old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?

Knock knock who is there old lady old lady who?

I DID NOT KNOW YOU CAN YOLDL

A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth... I don't have any now.

What's better then sex with your 12 year old sister?

Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother

Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish, and necrophilia. A: a few weeks.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Steve!"

"Steve who?"

Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's have reached a point where she can no longer remember him.

I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes

So we all know that old kids joke why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11

I did so much research that I got BONE-tired from doing this TIBIA honest. You probably didn’t find that HUMERUS. I got a SKELETON of these puns. I guess i could learn a FEMUR puns. I was wondering if the the creators of this site could TALUS how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years-old.

How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?

Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.

A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed- He wakes up under it...

What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.

up into the sky so very far here comes Dr. Seuss ALLAHU AKBAR, at the ripe old age of 97 he committed 9/11

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."

The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him."

The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."

The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."