Old jokes

Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.

I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?

"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"

What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?

A Sandy Hook.

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.

Yo mama jokes are so old, like your mom.

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.

But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.

What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

What starts with M and ends with arriage?

Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child.

Yo mama so old, she was Jesus' nanny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday? Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar? They never get old.

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."