New Old Jokes - Page 14 - Worst Jokes Ever

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD" then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours

For all those Simpsons fans out there this one I'm sure you know Abe: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you Homer: I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me-- no matter how dumb my suggestions are

White 40 year olds love little white kids and so does trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

me as a 5-year-old: how do you relate to the twin towers friend : what me: everytime I thing of them I feel sad

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught, having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

Why do girls wear classic rock t shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique

If she’s old enough to smoke She’s old enough to choke If she’s old enough to pee She’s old enough for me

I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.

Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie? because it was rated RRRRGGGG

i am guessing u dont understand :(

Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty eight year olds

I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.

In his old life Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for miraculous ladybug childrens show whatever the show is called but its a kids show. Skull emoji. Now they’re searching up pictures of tom holland laughing in their absolute weirdness. I like Tom Holland but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on google docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him

what did the old chimney say to the young chimney?

your too young to smoke!

that's not even a bad joke-

i was digging out side and i found my child old toy so i ran to find him but i could not find him so i was searching for about 6 hours but the i remembered why i was digging......

if a old person tells you what to do just say at least my parants are alive!

You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning? It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...

‎...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. "It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!"