OH jokes

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.

Orphan: Where... Oh.

A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3

What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?

They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."

I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"

Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.

"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"