OH jokes
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Oh, never mind, it's pointless.
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
oh goody
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven.
Oh, wait... never mind...
What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?
They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”
April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.
Orphan: Where... Oh.
If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?
"Period, oh period, oww!"
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!