what did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
freeze
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME Officer: you ok kid? Me: dont worry! hes my nephew, there was a big spider Officer: oh ok ma'am *walks off* When officer leaves: Me: *gets whip* what did I say about leaving the basement
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over Im just aBiden the law officer.
So i told the officer
I cant even walk when Im sober
Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot. Everyone else in the office:😱
What's the difference between a Pig and a Police officer.
The Pig smells better
god sent to the principles office for giving a blind kid sun glasses and said dont let the sun damage your eyes.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students she was charged with Interpreting black police officer
A police officer came up to me and said just why why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight
A blonde walks into the Doctors office. She tells the Doctor, " My boyfriend has dandruff". The Doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the Doctors phone rings. He answers, its the Blonde. The Doctor asks how he can help her. " Well Doctor, I understand head, but how do you hove shoulders?"...........
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A polise officer said," Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said," I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said," I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Bosses are like seagulls. They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces and a dentist comes in and he's says Brace yourself!
Two people are sitting in a sky scraper. P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible. P2: Airplane wifi
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir"
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
What do you call sex in the world trade center?
An inside job.
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sisters Jenga kit”
The principles office smells nice
A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen't to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered 'SUPERMAN!!!'. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said 'in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said 'Olé Olé Olé!!!'. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!', the teacher boomed. 'Superman', the boy replied. 'WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!', the teacher continued. 'In the Barbie Dream House' 'GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!' 'OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!', the boy chanted on his was down the hall.
