Nun jokes
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
@ the N-word of your dreams, why you not say nun on the fuckin community? You should talk on ther my g.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.