Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Nun Jokes
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
Whatโs black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
Whatโs that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
@ the N-word of your dreams, why you not say nun on the fuckin community? You should talk on ther my g.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."