Numbers jokes
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
The number 13? Not on my watch!
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
What is the highest number?
420.
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
3+3=****
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex, sex, sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!!!
Why is 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."