Number jokes
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
What comes after 69?
Period.
Memes
I was rolling dice online and this is the first two I get
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
If 7 8 9 why was ten scared?
It was right in the middle of 9/11.
This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.
Why were 7, 8, and 10 scared?
Answer: 9/11, of course!
Gallons (DYM 113).
Why was eight afraid of seven? Because 7, 8, 9!
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Why was 9 scared of 10? Because 11 was after.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
Why is six scared of seven?
Because seven eight nine.