Number jokes
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
Why did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud."
What is 2+2? Fish.
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because seven eight (ate) nine.
Why is 10 so scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11.
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
What kind of number hates nuts?
17.
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.