Number jokes

What’s 23 times 2?

A potato.

What kind of number hates nuts?

17.

What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?

There's twenty of them.

Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.

You know why seven ate nine? Because 7, 8, 9.

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."

Why was 6 so afraid of 7? 7 killed 6's parents.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

Why was the sun afraid of the ocean?

'Cause 7 8 9.

Why did the big rose say to the little rose?

"Hi, bud."

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

LEZZZZZZ GOOOOO! 69 FOLLOWERS!

What's the best thing about 28 year olds?

There's 20 of them.

Why did the three 23s not go to the orphanage?

Because they already 69'd.

6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared?

Because 10 was in 9/11.

I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.

What’s the speed limit in bed?

It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.