Number jokes
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate six, five!
your mom
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have $999,999.75.
What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.