Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
Now Jokes
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."
Y'know, I never knew Obi-Wan Kenobi participated in an anime, "Snow White with the Red Hair," up until now.
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Harry Potter is now Harry Orphan.
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex!
Dad: We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
I am starting a frog cult now!
sad sad sad
now you laugh and like
thank you!
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
Are you serious right now, bro?
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
What goes up stairs but doesn't move? Stairs! Laugh now!
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
