Nothing jokes
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
Daveon...
What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
I used to know a guy from a nudist colony.
Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
Why did people say a man had nothing? ... Because he was a-nonymous.
Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.