Nothing Jokes

I know this is a really bad poem but I'll do it anyway cuz I have nothing else to do.

Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and exedra. it goes on and on. But why wish for riches? Your already rich enough? If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(

Mom: Hey you! what are you doing?! Me: Nothing. why? Mom: your suppose to do your _______ Me that/every night: *sob* Friends: are you okay? Me: yea fine. Me in head: or maybe im not okay...

what did superman say to batman nothing bruce is dead

Why did the chicken cross the road

for absolutely no reason

There's nothing stronger than love except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.

What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline? Nothing, they're both receding.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What does ur mom say when she is working? Nothing, its rude to talk wit ur mouth full.

What did the whale say? Nothing! It just wailed

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

once i was in south korea doing stand up comedy ... and i started with a "hidden" joke and i said: i'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful korea in the world ..... which is a good joke but they didn't get it .. and they looked at me badly ... so I said I'm here in the south which is more beautiful .... sud good, north booooooo. but still nothing, they kept glaring at me ... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea

A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.

They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.

The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.

The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.

The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water and beat the shit out of him every single day.

When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.

The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything, I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."

The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get and yet he won't speak!".

The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"

The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!".

What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?

Nothing... she couldn't tell.

What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing It"s an egg joke

My mom's name is Angel and she is nothing like one:) Especially in bed...

Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg": "I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing with out a few ice Bergs".

Here’s my pun

Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain

Theres a old lady doing gardning every year nothing grows she goes the the man who lives next door she sez how do you get your tomartoes so big an red he tells her you show them your privates at night time so she leaves that night latter she goes out side an shows the garden her privates the next shes got Zucchinis a meter long !