A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud. "Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot" says the bird. "Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!" "I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird. "Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs." "Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers." "Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?" "Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I can not afford that." "Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman." "What!?" says the man. "Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth." "And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?" "Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere." "My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?" "Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down." "And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams . "No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick ..."
What did the orphan get for Christmas nothing because his parents ran away double whammy orphan jokes r like a kid with cancer it never gets old 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
hello, this is Godlygirl26. i want to help people with their problems no matter what. there is nothing that god cannot do. i want yall to know that God is with you. not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true , loving,, powerful God. dm this right here and i will answer. hope i can help you! Love , Godlygirl26
What did one pillow say to the other? Nothing meah they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Whats the diffrence between MJ and myself? Nothing at all.
What did the orphans mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing because he doesn't know his parents...
whats a orphans fav food, nothing they cant afford it
what did the beach goers in north carolina say when there was a tsunami?
nothing they died
/{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discus courses of action, and collection." End of log\
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin. Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted? Nothing.. wife couldn’t tell.
What does ur mom say when she is working? Nothing, its rude to talk wit ur mouth full.
There's nothing stronger than love except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline? Nothing, they're both receding.
there is nothing gayer than but slapping the ass at hooters.
Mom: Hey you! what are you doing?! Me: Nothing. why? Mom: your suppose to do your _______ Me that/every night: *sob* Friends: are you okay? Me: yea fine. Me in head: or maybe im not okay...
