Not jokes
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
It's not Minecraft.
It's Ourcraft!
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?
(Doesn't have boss bar.)
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."