Not jokes

Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?

Because it was on strike.

Roses are red, violets are not, everyone at Grant High School is probably a thot.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

Gay is a mental illness.

You're not thinking straight.

What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?

We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”

Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.

Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.

Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.

Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.

A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”

Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅

Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?

Because he didn't want to see the bill.

What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean?

"Billie Jean is not my lover!"

Technoblade: I'm the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans.

Quackity: What is the first thing to ever happen to the orphans???

Technoblade: Quackity..... they're orphans.

(Disclaimer: not funny xD)

Imagine not having parents. Lol.

What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.

Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.

An assassin threatens a planet.

The planet remains calm.

The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"

A person laughs every day.

"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"

Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.

Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.

PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.