Not jokes
I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!