Not jokes
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Memes
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?
Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.