Not jokes
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)
Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?
Mother's Day and Father's Day.
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."