Not jokes

School

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

Teacher

If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?

Mother

What does a mother fear most?

Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.

Dad

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

Memes

Tree

It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.

Most foresters have a wooden personality.

Team

Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?

Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.

Sally

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Butter

Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...

Orphan

Why should you not let an orphan play baseball?

They don’t know where home is. 😢

Politician

It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

Roster

Why did the roster cross the road twice?

To prove it was not a chicken.

Child

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Jump

"White people can't jump..."

"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."

Dad

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

Sister

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Pakistan

People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...

Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.

Pet

Why do white people own a lot of pets?

Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.

Toaster

Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.

Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.