The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Not Jokes
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
Why should you not let an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is. 😢
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
