Not jokes
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
Memes
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
Why should you not let an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is. 😢
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.