Not jokes
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
Hi, I did not get your walk.
Do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
What do you call an African that is not hungry? Dead.
I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.