Not jokes

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

What is not the definition of prostitution?

A dumb blonde that got money for babysitting. Does it cycle now?

What do you call dead?

(Not Michael Jackson)

That is not a joke hahahahhaha.

Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.

Yo mama is so ugly that not even the Socs wanted to jump her.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"

Your hairline got suspended, it's not coming back.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.

Your hairline is so far back that not even Tom Brady could throw that far.

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

I whopped my daughter's butt because she doesn't listen.

I now have a court date for child abuse and crimes against a deaf person.

I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.

What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven

Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere

Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.

Me: That’s what I call an orphan!

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

Mom says: "I will go kill myself."

Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*

Some time later me fighting with my mom:

Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"

Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"

Lesson?

So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?

What's the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?

Not too sure. I just fly the drone.