Not jokes
If you're reading this, then good, let's stop this hating on this site! We can just get along, or if not, then don't say anything at all! "Kiss."
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.
Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.
Couldn't be me being an orphan.
"My love, I missed you."
"Aww, I missed you too."
"I did not miss *that* time!"
Your mum's hairline was so big that Dora the Explorer could not find it.
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
Not sure if the Twin Towers were destroyed or if they were just purposely demolished. 🖐️😀