A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
Not Jokes
Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
