Not Jokes

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.

5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

2 boys came home for dinner late and their mother asked, "where have you boys been?" 1 of them replied with, "we were all over the neighborhood, we're mail men now." Their snobby teen sister said, "well your not real mail men, real mail men use real letters." Then 1 of the boys said, "actually we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?..

He has no legs...

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost? Harlem, New York.

My mom said she will slam me head into my computer of I don't get of it, I'm not to worried though, I think she is just jhehus,d.kes,jdhcuya71,hshh.jdh

Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?

Johnny was deaf.

What feature does an orphan's phone not have? A home button.

Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.

Im not a failure. Suuuurrrre.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms 'knock knock" whos there not sally

why was the orphan single. Because it could not call someone daddy

atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touch each other or anything, so sir, I did not drop-kick that child

At every funeral it's a try-not-to-say-big-mood-challenge for me

Everyone has cracks in them, mines just in my heart and not my ass.

It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct Tape.

I ain't shaking any ones hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking any ones hand because y'all out of toilet paper!

There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. *knock knock* Who's there! Not Sarah.