Not jokes
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
This picture is for bras! Comment or not and go to each one and comment! And go!
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!