Not jokes
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Let's not make any more Indian jokes. All your jokes are trash. Please stop.
I have a penis.
How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.
500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because they looked like me?
Sans: ... Sure.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Everyone says "no homo," why do gays not say "no hetero?"
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.