None jokes

There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.

There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.

What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?

It's none of your business!

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

Your

Dfhbbfd.

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?

None, it's all tongue and groove...

None of these are even funny. Just stupid.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

How many cats are in the human body?

None, unless you're Asian.

How to give a good hand job?

Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.

None of you ever touch my penis.

How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.

What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..

There is none.

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What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.

I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.