What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
None Jokes
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
W ffseetyhggghjoi.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
I'm sorry, none of my jokes are very punny.
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"
Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"
We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
There were ten cats in a boat, and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, 'cause they are all copycats.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.
Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.
What?
None of these jokes really took off.
There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.
There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
Your
