When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"
Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."
Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"
Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"
Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."
Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"
Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."
Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"
Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"
Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."
Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
