No one jokes
Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.
Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.
And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.
Why does no one like Hitler when he goes to the movies?
Because he would count, "zehn, neun", and then it would all turn green.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.
Why is Transgender Day of Visibility on April Fool's Day?
Because all trannies are clowns and no one takes them seriously.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.